WOW - champagne!!!

Drugs are bad, but champagne?..

Freddy Maertens

Marika Hackman

or click here

Music selection of the week, again courtesy of 6music! They are the source of so many of my 'discoveries'.

Folding socks

I was folding socks to put away. Or 'pairing' my clean laundry, to store in my draw. I can't believe how I bore you to tears! Hehehe. Pathetic it may sound, but this process bought me joy! It can be, in doing the most mundane activities, that I actually find myself happy. I was able to realise that I was using both hands to do such. I had learnt to do this task with the predominant use of just one hand. It hurt me, psychologically, to need to be taught to use two. I resisted, learnt a special technique, but this week I found myself  unknowingly using both hands. When I realised, I stopped, shocked! It amused how happy I was, folding socks!

Armstrong was the biggest and best cheat. We must applaud. It was a mighty, invincible complex scheme of cheating. It succeeded. Those who slant him now must admit to have fallen for his lie (they now feel cheated). I never did fall for it, but there was little choice but to accept his conquest.

Below is a section from an email in which I try to argue for designing with the use of black on white text! The use of a white background is so good.

'I know it is the common colour, but it’s because it is best (and white is not a colour). White is a lack of anything, therefore the contrasts of the subjects (colours) with the background are at a maximum. Humans actually read the contrast, not the subjects. Some are clean contrasts, others are harsh. Clarity and cleanliness are maximised.'

I think that I have been successful.

butterflies and zeebras...

Monday morning. Everyone feels the same.

We are troubled by problems our week will throw at us, but our self confidence has brought us this far. Well she’s walking through the clouds, with a circus mind thats running round. Butterflies and zebras, and movies and fairytales…

So that’s all she ever thinks about! I got distracted. Hmmm. We will continue. We cannot know what life will give us.

Tuesday. Hmmm. I have to stay in to wait for the postman. Is it the first day since living out ‘in the real world’ (out of rehabilitation), where i have to stay indoors and wait for an unknown time? 

He doesn’t come.

Pumpkins— iPlayer (click here)

:)

thank YOU

You are reading the blog of someone who is just a complex combination of all of you people. Similarly to everyone else, I am just a ‘sum of experiences’. These have combined to generate creativity, some of which I am feeding back to you. Thank you for reading this, as along with various employment, it completes 'the loop'. 

'Thank you, you're much sharper!'

These were the words thrown back at me with gratitude. Yesterday I was moving down the high street, as bustling pedestrian walked past. She was too busy giving me a begrudging expression as she went past, she only just realised that she was stepping off of a curb. About 5m behind, I was at comfortable distance to pretend to ignore her. I am used to foreseeing traffic and predicting pathways of cars (even though indicators are never used anymore)!

For the oncoming car's sake, I yelled out 'WHOA !!'

I was on the pavement, at no risk, but I very much doubt that the driver wanted her splatted across the bonnet!

She retreated, exclaiming con-dascendingly, the words above. She didn't expect her life to be saved by someone in a wheelchair. ****!

Finding the middle C...

2015!!!!

EEEK! I was at university ten years ago! Nine years ago, my year of cycling. I was living in a rehabilitation home until 2010. Birth of this blog, December 2010. Independent life, paid employment and voluntary employment. Paris visited once again. Olympics at the end of my road, Surbiton and Kingston. I accept that I am addicted to coffee (I don't need it, but I love it)!

Alpe D'Huez / Ventoux

Hmmm. Ok, you all know that my mind likes to live elsewhere, in a fantasy world. I have had to place myself (in my mind), as a cyclist in the Tour De France - a life of physical strain, effort, psychological stress, independence. Glory of winning is rare but exists. The satisfaction and pride of reaching the end, is insurmountable.

Understand? Hehehe. 

I am different though. I cannot quit and jump In the team car!

Hospital life was the Pyrenees (1st mountain range), rehabilitation home was Alps (the biggest mountain range with climbs such as Alpe D'Huez). I go to live alone, I am close, but now the biggest test, myself. An individual time-trial up Mont Ventoux!!! Hmmm, it is not as steep as Alpe D'Huez, but longer and just as tough (if not more so). Individual time trials are a huge ask of self-confidence, belief, and physical ability! I have won a big stage, just after the Alps but before this Ventoux. Coffee is my EPO. The norm, everyone does it. I went for a date with an incredibly hot girl, but that was just a stage win. I am second overall, a super performance, but second. I can see yellow.

Healthy espresso 5 breaths

I return to the normal world. I have found a wonderful excuse! A correctly made espresso is hot. Too hot for me. I need to cool it. I hold it close to my lips, and blow five strong, steady breaths. This cools the drink and also provides brief exercise for my core strength. My physiotherapist approves, therefore I have made it law.

Stormy Clouds

I am a graphic designer. I offer some of the skills, working voluntarily for a charity.

Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness,

ezekiel 25/17

 = Jules

Colombian coffee yoghurt

I saw this on the shelf, next to my favourite 'Twekolo yoghurts'. My heart was split! I decided to try this coffee option. I made the wrong choice. Coffee is made to be drunk.

Piano lesson:

A man a plan a canal Panama

AMANAPLANACANALPANAMA

...from nothing

A short post, as although cappucino accompanies, I  need to return home to do work.

 Lovers of Liam ahead of his brother, will disagree, but I may vote this song as the best Oasis song (originally released as a B-side, remember them)?

The Masterplan (click here)

My next note is simply another song. I was indirectly reminded of this new release, by hearing 'Baker Street' ( the original, by Gerry Rafferty) on television. My mind hears this famous riff, and automatically thinks of the Foo Fighters' wonderful version (also a b-side). However the band have just released a new album, starting with a beast... Something From Nothing (click here)

No chocolate plan failed!

I tried, I failed. I figured that I would be considered rude and impolite, rejecting gifts at Christmas. I also figured that as soon as a rule is broken once, it no longer applies. So, I can stuff my face!

Hmmm, I was bought the DVDS box set of the first two series, at Christmas. I am only part way through the first series, but I rate Homeland so highly. Does it make third in my list of all-time favourites?

Sopranos

X files

....Homeland?

When I question myself. What have I done? I look around at friends partying on social media, but also people who I don't know, socialising in cafes. Where was I?

I sound rude, but honestly, no one can attempt to understand what I have lived through. No-one. 

Shit happens. My mind has come this far alone, I must keep self-confidence.

I can't help but smile 😄

I say all this, and it should be read positively. As you all know, everything can be viewed both positively and negatively. I have just reread above and panic that you read this in the wrong way. 

When I go about town, I may be viewed as always smiling! I am because I am happy, or 'more than content'. Smiling is contagious. Be Happy.

perceptions...

I start this week's post, incorporating two notes that contrast. My first note concerns a fairly serious matter -

Equality is a very wide issue. Personally it was a big Internal mental issue.

Perhaps the main issue that a lot of disabled, wheelchair users face, is public prejudice and issues of equality. I now can look back in hindsight that it was a problem of massive proportions of mine. Not only was I dealing with trying to face the facts of my disability, possibly more damaging was my need to deal with 'equality issues'. Most people treat wheelchair users with upmost priority, but this can have a detrimental effect. 

Now that I am free to live how I want (out of rehabilitation homes), I can review with immense pride. I am still physically disabled, needing a wheelchair, but I live independently, knowing that no-one knows. Only I know me!

Now, the second, more light-hearted note. I type this with embarrassment.

The rectangle conundrum...

I was lying in bed, in the dark, my eyes closed. My head was facing directly up. I envisaged a shape, a flat rectangle. I then rolled my heads to the side, but could still envisage this rectangle in my head. Eyes still shut. But I decided that I must have flipped this rectangle, as my head was now on its side. I then moved back thinking about this again and again. Then I fell asleep!

Everything is a perception. Everything is different because every viewer is different.

My mentality as a cycling fan was that everyone cheats. Everyone cheats.

I cannot continue this.

I may be correct, but I cannot think so poorly of everyone/everything.

Everyone needs to believe in success.

I maintain by telling that I am a cyclist. It is obvious to people that I cannot cycle properly, as I am in a wheelchair. It should be recognised, however, that I still proudly own my bike (part of me), and I still have the mentality of a cyclist. By this, I do not mean that I regularly check tyre pressures! Part of me still exists, which is the desire for improvement, suffering alone, and conquering obstacles faced by slogging away with determination. I have read so many texts on the history of the professional sport (many autobiographies), getting much joy that I have or currently still do experience/d similar emotions to these heroes.

I am home, but I am lost. I need something to happen, I cannot continue waiting. I smile but I am successfully masking my inside.  I work, but voluntarily. I cannot force things to happen, fate rules. Honestly, I don't know whether I want a girlfriend now, I could never provide like I would wish...

Aaaaw I should shut up!

Of course I want/need a partner as much as the next person! I have tried internet dating, but I tell the truth in my profiles - I need a wheelchair. This must eliminate atleast half of potential. The crazy thing is, I know how amazingly special it is to be in love. I need to meet people, new people. However, new people don't know my past, old people don't know me now. No one knows :s!!!

ah, stop moaning! I stop. Sorry.

Things will change. Happy new year! :)